Friday 8th March 2019
“Now we celebrate this milestone and re-focus on what’s next. We start to make plans and prepare to ‘un-pause’” — Jayne Evans
What a great day ! I was looking forward to today and it didn’t disappoint. Although I wasn’t too pleased at the 6.30am alarm going off, having gone to sleep around 11.40pm. That’s the least amount of sleep I’ve had for a while and I was knackered when I woke up. Luke and Parker came in our room, and Jayne handed Luke his birthday cards to open, but she handed me one too…
Such a lovely start to the day 🙂 I was genuinely touched. We don’t speak about these things on a normal day, we just get on with things. She’s been great too, my rock.
So I got ready, Dad arrived at 7am and we got to the hospital about 7.55am, he came in with me this time to see what a typical Friday chemo day looks like. I took my ticket and waited for my blood to be taken, then was pretty quick, we had a quick chat with my other chemo buddy then went off for breakfast before seeing the Dr. I have enjoyed passing time between appointments around the hospital eating some nice and basic cooked food. Last breakfast for a little while, never disappoints (apart from the sausages, see cycle 2 day 19.)
Off we went to see the Dr, and got in straight away. Lots of news and good news. White blood count fine, bloods ok in general, happy to proceed with today’s chemo. A likely date for my CT Scan is 22nd April, with the results following on 3rd May. I love having dates to focus on so I was happy to hear some dates. I’ll also have the hearing and lung tests before then too, appointments to follow. Hopefully I won’t have fuzzy hearing, tinnitus and dodgy lungs forever, but more importantly, I’ll be cancer free. I’m not gonna worry between now and then, I can’t control the outcomes. But I sure can focus on the positive task getting back to my normal self and doing more and more of the things I enjoy.
Then we went off to get a brew and wait for my chemo appointment. We got in at 10.50am about 50 mins late, and we sat down. Today I got a trainee nurse supported by a senior nurse who looked after me one Friday in Cycle 2. Things were a bit slower, as she was checking things as she went, which is fine. We all have to learn sometime.
When it came to my favourite bit, the cannula, I offered up my left arm for the first time ever, because my right arm is sore in lots of places having always been used for needles and cannula’s. She had 2 painful attempts, and didn’t manage to get one working. The senior nurse hit a valve in my vein with the 3rd attempt, and then they had to switch back to my right arm in the end, went in 1st time. I looked a bit like a pin cushion.
Ouch x 3 
Old reliable
Anyhow, I was hooked up and the final Bleomycin shot was going in. The nurses mentioned a few times about it being my final treatment. As exciting as that was for me, they seemed genuinely excited too, hence mentioning it a few times. Once you finish your last treatment, there is a bell at the entrance to the Chemo Treatment Centre that you ring on the way out to signify the end of your treatment. For context, I’ve been there 6 times now and never heard that bell ring. Most people in there will be having repeat treatments, so you can see why they get excited to be seeing you go for the last time. When it was time to go, the senior nurse escorted me to the bell, and I rung it out with a smile on my face.
There’s something about ringing a loud bell in a hospital full of people people getting chemo, some ill and some sleeping through it. I rang it pretty conservatively but with a bit of encouragement I rang it a bit louder. A couple of random people popped their heads out and shouted well done 🙂
While in the chemo chair, I was wiped out from only having 7 and a half hours sleep. By the time we got in the car I was ready to nod off, so I decided that when I got home I’d celebrate this milestone by going for a nap, which I did and woke up at 3pm just in time to wrap Luke’s new bike to go with his other presents that Jayne had mostly organised. I picked the kids up from school and Jayne got home as we did. The bike was hidden, so he opened all his other awesome presents and then we let Parker show him to the other big present. Something else I can look forward to other than just getting out on mine, is taking him out for some rides too, and some more family rides with all of us. I got it 2nd hand and replaced most of the running gear on it, so it’s as good as new. This is what I needed to do when I wasn’t feeling so good and with mega sore fingers, but it feels good to have done it, and I can teach him too going forward.
Then we went and met up with my family for a birthday meal, and a mini celebration of finishing my chemo. I ate like a trooper as expected (thanks steroids,) even after walloping 4 sausage rolls about 4pm because I couldn’t wait. Luke got a cake with a candle and we sang happy birthday. I had a celebratory beer, and it tasted great. I haven’t had one for ages, you just don’t feel like it normally. My sister got me a card and some chocolates too 🙂
Jayne and Luke have gone to the cinema, Parker and I are chilling out at home. I’ll probably be out cold by 10.30pm, my eyes are sore from tiredness again. It’s too early to tell if today’s final chemo will upset me again, it doesn’t normally but did last week. Hopefully it won’t make the tiredness and finger tingles/soreness any worse, which is what it did last week. I’ll figure that out tomorrow, it’s gonna be a long day. Birthday breakfast for Luke, another (Young Driver) driving lesson for him at the Trafford Centre after midday, then off to bowling and pizza hut with a few of his mates for pizza. I’m not sure I’ll get a nap so I need all the sleep I can get tonight.
Like I said, today the chemo chapter closes. The recovery chapter opens, and we’ll count down the run in towards getting my results. I honestly have no anxiety around it, because I have other things to occupy me, and there’s genuinely nothing I can do at this point to influence the results. My recovery is in my hands, and I need to be careful not to take things too quickly. My nurse stressed that earlier on, and said some people can take 6 months to get back to “normal.” Saying that, I’m a stubborn bugger and I’ve defied most of the expectations so far, I’ll go as quick as my body allows and no quicker. I promise.
I’ll be back at The Christie in April but while I’m away I’ve got these two smiley faces to watch over me. The big one to sit around the house as a reminder of this journey. The little one to serve as my mascot on my run’s and bike rides for charity.
Until then my first goal, get back to work when I’m ready, I crave routine. Then pick up the fitness again. I was 14 stone 10 pounds today, I weighed around 14 stone when I started chemo. I’ve noticeably lost some muscle (ahem, and gained fat), so that’s about 1 stone I need to lose, and build up what I’ve lost muscle wise. No rush, but that’s another goal. Then it’s the Great Manchester run in Mid May, I aim simply to finish it and raise some more charity money. Most importantly, we can un-pause as a family, Jayne and I need some Date Nights, and I’ve missed doing Dad things with the boys.
Phil's BEP Chemo Journey 