Monday 21st January 2019
“I love to smile, even through pain.” — Victoria Arlen

Well this will be one of the more eventful days to write about ! 10.30pm last night, I went to bed, temperature was 37.1 and normal. My back was hurting a bit, I thought that was from doing a little outdoor DIY yesterday. I’d sat watching TV with the back massager pillow Jayne got me in my care package a few weeks back but it didn’t help the pain.

We went to bed around 11pm, and I struggled to get comfortable because of my back but I managed to drop off because I was absolutely knackered. At about 2am, I woke up tossing and turning in real pain. I can only describe it as if somebody had put an electrode in my back and was electrocuting me every 2 or 3 seconds. Whether on my side, back, sitting up, curled up, spread out, it wasn’t going away and was actually getting worse.

As is habit now, I thought I’d take my temperature as I felt a little warm and it was 37.8, above the 37.5 where you need to seek advice. Over about a half hour period, during which time Jayne woke and joined in the fun, it went up to 38.8 and peaked at 39. That’s serious stuff. By this time I can’t even stand without my back jolting me all over the place, and I’m uttering regular semi-uncontrolled expletives because the pain is so intense, whilst getting a sweat on from the fever. No other real symptoms though. At this point I’m still assuming the back pain and fever are separate, but the fever is the more concerning in the context of the chemo.

Jayne called the chemo hotline, and they said straight away I was to go into hospital. They called back to confirm they had a bed. I tried to call my Dad to take me there, but to start with I got no answer, so Jayne had to call 999 to ask for an ambulance to take me there. One was ordered but they said it would be some time because they were busy. I tried Dad again and he answered (yes it’s 2.45am at this point) so we cancelled the ambulance and Dad came to take me to The Christie.

We got there about 3.45am and I went straight to bed 18, Dad went home. Within 10 minutes I had a cannula in and was given a large syringe full of antibiotics, metronidazole. This is “protocol.” Not long after, a Dr came to see me, really nice chap. The nurses already surmised it could be a kidney infection, and had taken swabs for viruses, MRSA (they always do this,) a good few vials of blood, and a urine sample as they usually would. The Dr agreed it could be, but that we would need to wait for the blood test results in the morning. I got paracetamol and codeine to stop the back pain, which at this point has calmed and I can sit in one place jerking about rather than having to be on the move. He said the antibiotic was the strongest on offer, and that under the circumstances I’d be in for 48 hours minimum.

The painkillers kicked in relatively quickly having gone in via IV, and I could finally lie pain free. However I was wide awake, and now on a 1 litre in 1 hour drip of saline, so the usual regular trips to the bathroom kicked in. After that, a 1 litre over 8 hour drip. Chris in the bed opposite was chatty too for 4am in the morning, chatting about Manchester United’s recent resurgence, how long he’s been there and how he’s stage 4 terminal with only a glimmer of hope from a clinical trial. Tough chat, that grim reminder again it’s a potential killer we’re dealing with.

I was starving, so I asked if I was ok to walk to the vending machine, but the nurse offered to make toast instead. I ate it and stayed up until about 6.30am until my drip was changed, then got some shut eye until about 8.15am when I smelt breakfast. The nurse did my observations, my temperature was back to about 37.1 in the morning, so something had worked. I ate my weetabix and the consultant came to see me just as I’d buttered my toast.

Much to my surprise, after we chatted through my version of events, he told me what he knew so far and said that they would send me home about lunchtime with 2 lots of antibiotics in tablet form, send me for a chest x-ray before I left, then call me back on Wednesday to look at the vast array of results they will have by then. He was unsure what the infection was, but was happy I could rest at home. The antibiotic approach may change on Wednesday when more is known. He again was really nice, great bedside manner. He said I’d done exactly the right thing, calling in, being admitted etc. I liked that, as when ambulances and urgent admissions are involved, you want to be sure it’s warranted and you’re not wasting anyone’s time.

Shortly after, he returned with my oncologist, and he seemed happy at this point I’ll be ok for the Bleomycin on Friday, and the next 3 day chemo a week today. I slept for an hour or so, then around midday my drugs were ready, the cannula came out and I was free to go. Lunch arrived just before I was due to leave, another 3 course meal.

So Dad picked me up again, and I’m home now to rest. I had paracetamol and (less) codeine this morning again, but I can feel the back pain returning. A painful ache now, not a constant stabbing pain. I’ve got some sleep to catch up on although I’d rather save it for night time in case my back hurts again, I’m more likely to sleep then.

Aside from all that, I did the obligatory tug at my hair today, and for the first time, it’s starting to give. Not in huge chunks yet, but there’s 3 or 4 hairs coming out with each pull. Weirdly but not unexpected, it’s not just the hair on my head. I blew my nose and noticed nose hairs coming out easily. Either way, its started 😦 I’ll hold onto it as long as I can (I’m still in denial) then I’ll have to set about it with the clippers. Should I sport a mohawk for a day ? Not a style I’d ever go for under normal circumstances but I’ll never have the cause to do it again… Suggestions on a postcard…

6.30pm – My back pain returned to being a bit jolty about 5pm so I nipped to the pharmacy and got some codeine / paracetamol mix, that’s took the edge off it again. I find sitting with good posture helps too, I suspect so much time recently on the sofa with my feet on the footstool may be a contributor. I keep accidentally pulling some hair out, it already seems to come out a little easier than it did earlier this morning. Finally, I’ve managed to avoid napping and should do up until bedtime, so hopefully I’ll get a good nights sleep. I sure need it, followed by a pure day of rest tomorrow.

Sunday 20th January 2019
“I think being busy is a healthy thing.” — Taron Egerton

Thankfully I woke up this morning feeling a fair bit better than I did when I was last night when I went to bed, still a little achy but reasonably well rested.

Jayne keeps throwing my litre bottle of juice at me and reminding me to drink it, good on her as I’m falling out of the habit of staying hydrated. Another needle jab to the stomach this morning was easily administered, I have got the hang of that now. 4 left to go.

I felt well enough to do some DIY, and spent a good chunk of the day outside and up and down a ladder installing some CCTV to the house, better to be safe than sorry. Parker was a great helper and great company.

My family came around to see me today, I’d said randomly that I’d cook pancakes for everyone. After a few hours outside, it didn’t take much standing at the cooker flipping pancakes before my legs were shouting at me to sit down and have a rest. 5 pancakes in and I was absolutely knackered, I honestly felt similar feelings to when I get home from a 100 mile bike ride. The difference being, the aches and pains go away relatively quickly with a bit of rest.

We sat and chatted for a while, then after they left I carried on outside for a little bit and did as much as I had parts for. I’ve been sat down for a few hours now, and other than a bit of back ache, I feel ok again. I think I can stay relatively active like today as long as I have frequent rests in-between.

Earlyish night tonight, and then work from home tomorrow, same pattern as last week. A reminder that it’s 4 days of work as long as I’m well, then another Bleomycin blast on Friday. That will be cycle 1 complete, and a week today I’ll be sat packing my bags for another full on 3 days in hospital to start cycle 2.

I know you shouldn’t wish time away, but I am wishing these 9 weeks to move on as quickly as possible, so I can get back to “normal,” just in the same way you do when you have flu and you want it to bugger off. Being busy helps it along. Week 1 was all new territory, and passed reasonably quickly. Week 2 was still finding my feet, but working through has helped keep up the pace. This weekend has flown by, what with spending time with Jayne and the kids yesterday, and doing some jobs and seeing my family today. Two weeks have gone really quite quickly. I hope the next 2 do, then then next 2…

I still have a full head of hair too. Every day at various points, I can’t help give little bits of hair on my head a quick tug. So far, no sign of it going anywhere although I think I’m right in the danger zone now where if it’s going to happen, it will be any day.

Saturday 19th January 2019
“Even nice things don’t make you happy when you are tired.” — Jo Brand

Just a short one today. I struggled to sleep last night, by bedtime I was feeling a little run down and tired, a little bit achey like the onset of flu. The day after I found out I needed Chemo, I went to the pharmacy and got the flu jab to try to avoid picking it up at a time it could be dangerous, it should have just kicked in when I started treatment. It left me feeling a bit achey and crappy for 36 hours. That’s how I felt last night.

I didn’t sleep well, I developed a headache through the night and finally gave in at 4am to get some paracetamol, then sat up waiting for it to kick in. I”d been drinking a bit more water to wash the chemo through, so I was up peeing a few times too. Slept in until 8.30am, felt a little bit run down again. I went out to the supermarket with Luke, then in the afternoon we took Luke for a driving lesson we got him for Xmas.

We were stood out in the cold for an hour. I got brave and chased Parker around the car park we were observing from, the first jogging I’ve done since pre-treatment. Maybe that contributed. But, now we’re back home, and all the way into this evening, my whole body aches and I feel a little short of energy. It’s the worst I’ve felt so far in 13 days, unlucky day 13. I have read this can be a side effect of the Bleomycin so I hope it passes after a good sleep tonight, it’s got worse as the day has gone on. My temperature is normal so for now I’ll see if it passes, but if it doesn’t then I’ll call the hospital for advice.

On the plus side, this morning whilst Jayne was out shopping with Parker, I sat with Luke and got him to (willingly) watch me do my first belly injection. Forward thinking on my part, a dad has to look manly in front of his 10 year old son, so I put myself right under some pressure there. Out the needle came, and in it went straight away. Easy peasy, didn’t hurt a bit. Relief !

Friday 18th January 2019
“The future rewards those who press on. I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself. I don’t have time to complain. I’m going to press on.” — Barack Obama

I didn’t post yesterday, there wasn’t much to say and finding a relevant quote on an uneventful day is tricky too. I worked from home during the day, felt particularly excellent again under the circumstances. I did however look incredibly pale, which was noted by some folks, and also by me when trying to get Jayne to get a suitable mugshot of me for the structure chart at work. I blended in to the white wall, even with her phones beautifying filters. I’ll be trying that again another day.

Back to The Christie today, a schedule including a lot of waiting around. In theory, 10am giving blood for a test, 11am see the Dr and hear I’m fit for today’s chemo, 12.30pm have a shot of Bleomycin, then call Dad to pick me up and go home. I chose not to ask Dad to stay with me the whole day as was the initial plan, saves him spending 4 to 6 hours waiting around too, and I have enough tech and blogs and work emails to keep me focussed while I’m here.

I actually got here about 9am, did bloods early, setup office in a very office-like and very quiet part of the hospital for a work video call before my 11am appt, which worked quite well. I look a bit better today 🙂 Now I’m blogging and will throughout the day to save me catching up a full day later.

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I saw the registrar about 11.15am, told him how relatively uneventful things have been, and he seemed pleased and didn’t seem to bother I’d been working etc, but then he told me the bloods had shown something. Neutrophils are apparently a sub section of your white blood cells, the bits that would jump on an infection if I were to get one. He said my levels should be above 1 as a minimum and they were at 0.1, very low but not uncommon. That leaves me particularly vulnerable to catching an illness right now.  No impact on this afternoon’s chemo, but it does mean I need to daily Filgrastim injections for a week to stimulate my bone marrow into action, and bring those levels up within a few days.

I also told him about the cough, no concern but some proactive antibiotics have been prescribed too. As much as the posters in the GP’s office tell you about the dangers of over prescribing anti-biotics for simple colds etc, I get the feeling they just don’t mess around when you’re on chemo. Rightly so I guess.

I went to the pharmacy before lunch to order my prescription, then picked it up just before I headed for chemo. I got 7 needles and some antibiotic tablets, with the added bonus that I have to inject the needles into my own belly fat daily. Now I’m fine with needles, you kinda have to be during all this or you’re gonna get upset, but the thought of jabbing one into my own belly. Hmm, I’m not too pleased. I’ve got these for a week, and I believe I will again each time my count is too low. Later the nurse will show me what to do with them.

So off to the chemo day treatment area, unusually you sit in the waiting room and they call your mobile when you’re ready. So you can go and get a coffee, or wait outside on a sunny day, I like that. I got my call from today’s treatment nurse Ann who told me where I was heading, and I went upstairs to the treatment chair.

Now this on first impressions is really quite a depressing sight to be met with.  Imagine 10 leather reclining chairs, all in a row in an outward shaped semi circle, each one with somebody sat hooked up to a drip doing chemo. Most folks are 65 plus, the rest 50 plus, and me. Some look really ill, some quite healthy. I didn’t spot any young’ns today.  Some asleep, some with family, some reading, but it’s deadly quiet.

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Ann came over and talked me through it all, popped a cannula in my hand, pumped some hydrocortisone in and then setup the 30 minute Bleomycin blast.  I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the feeling of cold (lower then body temperature) liquid going into one spot in your vein, it’s a really weird sensation ! Time passed pretty quickly, I’d tipped Dad off to set off to pick me up, and then when done I asked Ann to kindly show me how to administer my first Filgrastim injection.

Now in theory, grab a bit of belly fat, push the needle in and press the plunger. Simple. Oh no ! Despite being prodded more then a pin cushion in recent months, including earlier today to give blood and for the cannula in my hand, I winced like a child when that needle went in. The thought of having to do it myself was firmly in my mind, and, well that’s tomorrow’s problem.  It has to go in about half an inch. I’m sure once I’ve done one I’ll be fine, just man up and jab it in Jack Bauer style like he’s injecting himself with some wacky nerve gas antidote.

No issues with the chemo, all fine now I’m home, although I’m tired from getting up early. Celebratory Chinese takeaway for tea, probably 3000 calories I didn’t need. I do need to cut down on this excess to an extent, I have now signed onto the 100 mile cycle sportive on the 29th September. While 100 miles isn’t unusual for me, to do it after all this will be a decent comeback so I think I’ll do that for charity and raise money for The Christie. Although for now I guess there’ll be more belly fat to jab the needle into, 😉

When I was in with the Dr, the guy next-door was telling his Dr how he couldn’t stomach any food and wasn’t eating well. Sounded like nausea has hit him hard, again affirming how lucky I’ve been. The Dr stressed how it was important to eat anyway, and the exact advice he gave was “if one day you fancy a KFC at 11am, fill your boots while you feel like it, just do it.”  Why do they only stress the bad things that can happen before you start your chemo ?  Fast Food on Dr’s orders ?

And upon returning home, I had a wonderful card from the folks at my new workplace. A lovely surprise after a day like today, that left me with a big smile. Since my diagnosis and operation, I’ve changed jobs, so the chemo was awkward timing in that respect. My old colleagues were fantastically supportive (& still are), and in my short time since moving over, my new colleagues have been too.

Wednesday 16th January 2019
“Normal is in the eye of the beholder” — Whoopi Goldberg

If it carries on like this then I may have to rethink the concept of this being a “daily” blog or I’ll bore you all. Today felt very much like a “normal” day.

The alarm clock went off at 6.40am, I woke up very easily and felt refreshed after about 8 hours sleep. Got to work about 7.45am and logged on. Desk work in the morning, a few hours of back to back meetings in the afternoon. I had an afternoon low about 1pm after lunch, but nothing worse than a normal workday. Otherwise I was fully alert all day, a complete contrast to Monday where I was fighting to stay awake all day until I could nap.

After work, I have no feeling that I need to nap. I notice I am still out of breath from relatively menial tasks, although that seems to have improved slightly too. I am trying my best to listen to my body and work within it’s new limits now I’m getting used to what they are. Taking care to get the right amount of sleep, limiting working hours, hydrating and fuelling properly, and simply resting. I would like to think this is contributing to how well I feel.

My digestive system is back to normal, although my appetite remains really quite high. I need to keep an eye on this or I could end up putting a stone or two on. I’d rather not spend my first 3 months back on the bike simply shifting weight, I’d rather be getting my fitness back.

There’s a 100 mile cycling sportive in the Forest of Bowland in September, it’s absolutely beautiful up there. I had the pleasure of twice cycling up Lythe Fell Road to the Cross of Greet on the RBS 500 mile London to Edinburgh Cycle Challenge in 2015 and 2016. I think it’s time to sign up for that, get an early goal in the calendar to work towards. Motivation. Already dreaming of getting back out there…

That’s your lot for today. Work from home tomorrow, pretty full schedule so the day should fly by. Then in for the first bleomycin top-up on Friday.

Tuesday 15th January 2019
“I would never win an award for not loving pizza” — Dwayne Johnson

So I made it into work today and did a reasonable amount of hours. Took it easy by going in a bit later than normal and working a standard length day, and by all accounts made it through unscathed. A pal of mine at work has sorted me out a basement parking space for a few weeks so it’s only about 100 steps from the car, up the lift to my desk. I owe him one for that. Although the commute, which I’m used to covering in 25mins on my bike was about 50mins each way. I don’t miss being a rush hour driver, but needs must.

I started off quite tired, although a coffee or two pepped me up. I’d had my 4 weetabix for breakfast, and took a bag full of sandwiches with me to keep up with this relentless appetite I have developed in the last few days. Through most of the day I plodded through some work at my desk, then finished the day hosting a meeting. I felt good. Had a laugh with a colleague about being totally out of breath having walked up 2 lots of stairs to go to a meeting room, and needing a minute to get my breath back. It still amuses me how it can happen !

By the time I got home, I felt a little drained but at no point have I felt as bad as I did yesterday. I thought it best to reward myself (and the boys) with some yummy food, for having managed the day well. Pizza & Burgers promptly arrived around 7pm, and we sat and filled our faces with some delicious dishes. I might have eaten a double cheeseburger and half (or more) of a 16′ pizza, such is this appetite I’ve developed. Since eating I’ve been perky, no feelings of needing to nap at any point really.

A couple of people looking out for me have quite rightly questioned my choice to go back into the office, and you wouldn’t be doing your job if you didn’t! As I’ve said before, whilst the obvious battle here is physical, you forget how much of it is mental too. The last thing I need is to be in the hospital on an antibiotic drip for a few days because I caught a bug, or potentially worse, I agree. But equally the last thing I need as a good friend eloquently puts it, is to be at home “wallowing in self pity” at the whole ordeal. I’ve struggled in the past with my mental health, but over the years I have become really quite resilient. I manage these things by taking them in my stride and simply getting on with things. I don’t do well at home, alone, with not a lot to do but be ill. I was the same in 2016 after breaking my collarbone, in early 2018 after suffering a spontaneous collapsed lung, and in October after my operation. You can’t keep me down, that’s me.

That means the plan for the rest of the week is to spend another sensibly timed day in the office tomorrow, back to working from home on Thursday before chemo day on Friday at The Christie. I’m still taking it day by day but it’s panning out well. Pizza of course, helps.

Monday 14th January 2019
“Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.” — Ron Burgundy

Some progress down the slippery slope today !

Firstly, I didn’t get the best nights sleep. I went to bed a bit later than I’d have hoped, and had took a gamble on taking another laxative before bed. I’ve spent the last 16 hours regretting that decision! Either that did it or I picked up a stomach bug. Anyhow, that affected my sleep a few times, and all day today. It was also the first day I’ve come across an early morning alarm clock.

I helped Jayne get the kids ready for school, then logged on to work for the day from home as planned. All fairly standard stuff, catching up on what I’d missed last week whilst in hospital and off work. However, by 10.30am, I was desperately struggling to stay awake. I boiled the kettle, made a brew and took in some caffeine. This process alone was exhausting, and I found my body telling me to grab a seat while the kettle boiled, instead of standing up to wait, such was the exhaustion.

This went in cycles all day really. The brew perked me up. A bit later I felt tired again so wandered around for food or drink, which was an exhausting affair, etc etc. At points, the struggle to stay awake was real. Yesterday, being physical killed me off, today just sitting and being conscious has been doing the same. Nevertheless, I plodded on and made it to about 4.30pm before I had to throw in the towel. I’d have gone to sleep immediately but dad duties kicked in. After making tea for Parker and a few other bits and bobs, I finally made it to my bed about 6pm to catch up on a bit of sleep. Out like a light ! I really wanted to avoid napping, as I worry I won’t sleep at night now, but even after that nap today I’m still pretty wiped out and I’m hoping that won’t be a problem.

Maybe I do have a stomach bug which is draining extra energy, maybe this is just how it should be. Maybe starting from a point of not having had as much sleep as I have been doing, and broken sleep at that, made today worse than it seemed. I’d still consider myself pretty lucky to have got this far and only really have simple fatigue as the major impact. I’m still finding my feet.

I have noticed over the last 48 hours some tinnitus. It’s not permanent, but that sudden onset of a high pitched beeping noise that sometimes greets you is certainly becoming a regular occurrence, but not the worst thing to put up with.

I’m going into the office tomorrow, lets see how that goes. I’m in the hugely fortunate position that I am under no pressure to do the work thing, I’ve been told my health comes first and foremost, and that the place will still be there when I’m through all this. There are far less fortunate people out there who don’t get sick pay, and need to work through this to continue to make ends meet, I can’t imagine the stress that adds. What it does though is motivate me to keep going in a way. I like my job, it’s a challenge ! What else will I fill my days with ? Mentally I’m still all there, and boredom has often been my enemy. If it doesn’t work out, the support is there.

I will of course stay out of the way of anyone who is ill, working sensible hours, not be shaking hands with anyone (no germs thanks) and be using frequent squirts of alcohol gel. My primary task is not to catch anything.

Sunday 13th January 2019
“To enjoy the glow of good health you must exercise, ” — Gene Tunney

Sunday was much like Saturday in that we had a fairly quiet day. I didn’t sleep so well, not because of the treatment, but it meant I was grateful to lie-in bed until about 10am again. I sound like a broken record, but I woke feeling pretty normal again. Bit of a cough, laxatives starting to work, temperature normal, still no nausea.

I’ve still been staying “active” to a point, not wanting to down tools completely. We went to Sainsbury’s & Asda at lunchtime to get some bits and bobs, and I started to notice getting tired now from some pretty basic things. I’m usually 10 paces ahead across the car park shouting at the kids to keep up, but today I was lagging. I hadn’t had any breakfast for a start, which was a bad move and I could tell I needed fuel. However, just walking around the shops was a little bit of an effort. It was a welcome break, having a sit down when Luke tried on some school pants. Same again when I got home.

Again I jogged upstairs and back down quickly without thinking, and my heart rate shot up to 170bpm, which is normally the heart rate equivalent of a decent effort up a 7% hill on my bike. Later on again, I was taking the washing down and then taking some upstairs, and I needed a minute to sit down. It’s a sign of the treatment reaching another stage, not to say I feel bad because of it, but I need to adjust. I simply don’t have as many blood cells to keep things going and I’m at that point now where I will limit being physical. I’ve got away with it quite well so far.

There are lessons learnt today from when and how I ate, I didn’t eat well or regularly enough and maybe I’d have been a little bit better off if I’d fuelled myself better.

The plan tomorrow is to work from home, 1st day back, I’ll welcome the mental stimulation to be honest. All being well I’ll get 4 days work done Monday to Thursday, then back in hospital on Friday for my first post-chemo blood tests, a chat with the consultant and another shot of Bleomycin. 1 week down, 8 more to go.

Saturday 12th January 2019
“I’m lucky I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with my family” — James Fox

Another relatively uneventful day along the lines of the chemo treatment / side effects. I woke up and checked my temperature, which has been normal again all day. I slept well, felt refreshed and ready for the day. Appetite, thirst etc all still there. Taste seems to be returning to something closer to normal.

It’s strange waking up on a Saturday with no real weekend plans, and trying to figure out how to pass the time based on the restrictions of trying not to get ill or exert yourself. I am missing bike riding (of course!), although not as much as I thought I would as I think mentally it’s not even in my head as a remote possibility. My family were due to visit but again my uncle, and my small nephew have a cold so we cancelled that visit to us.

The plus side was, we sat in watching a few movies with the kids, sat and played games, things we ordinarily wouldn’t have done as a family, or not as much of. It doesn’t help that the weather was really quite blustery and unwelcoming outside, and only set to get worse tomorrow, as we’d planned to go for a walk too but that didn’t happen.

I’ve finished the last of the medication I was sent away from the hospital with, now I just have a box of anti-sickness tablets to take “as required” which so far they have not been. I haven’t felt the tiniest bit sick at any point this far, which I am very pleased about. I’ve read about others who have really struggled with sickness, then struggled to eat / drink, and get into a real mess without the right nutrition and therefore energy levels. Long may this lack of nausea continue !

I did have a slight chesty cough which I noticed on the Wednesday before leaving hospital, I’ve been coughing today seemingly to clear some phlegm. Later in the afternoon after a bit of coughing, my chest tightened up a little and I paid a lot of attention to how it was feeling. As a chemo patient, I have a hotline to The Christie where if in doubt about anything, 24 hours a day I need to call them and discuss things. This could result in some advice, an instruction to go to see them, or a trip to the nearest A&E. This cough has no other symptoms, and hasn’t done since Wednesday, so for now I’ll wait and see. If it progresses then I’ll get advice, as with anything else that emerges.

Again, I had intentions that other folks going through BEP could read this and get another person’s point of view on everything, so I apologise again for saying that bowel movements are not as regular and causing s a little discomfort. I haven’t found a rhythm with the (self bought) medication yet, let alone know if it’s the right one. I’ll speak to the hospital about it next Friday if it’s still an issue. For now though, I’m increasing my fibre intake and staying vigilant to my fluid intakes / hydration.

Other than that, it’s day 7 tomorrow. My nurse warned me that day’s 7 to 10 are “where it will hit you hardest.” Whether I notice the physical symptoms or not, I need to be mindful that my body will be at it’s lowest point – low blood counts, immune system etc. Another good reason to take it easy again and enjoy some more family time.

Friday 11th January 2019
“Anyone can have a good day, but you have to be able to perform on a bad day” — Jurgen Klopp

Not a great deal to say today to be honest. I consider myself really lucky that again for most of today I feel relatively normal. 7.30am get up, walked the kids to school, no issue. Sat down on the sofa when I got home, and 20% of me felt like a nap. Promptly ignored, I headed out to the supermarket to stock up on a few things.

Back to the medical side of things, no sickness at all so far, not even a slight feeling of nausea. Appetite still all there. My taste is still weird, I couldn’t really taste the sugar on a Morrisons Donut (my personal fave) earlier. No mouth ulcers / sores which I believe are again a matter of time, but I got some mouthwash ahead of time to try and stave these off as long as possible. Other blogs suggested that laxatives may be required at some point, and I’m starting to notice a need potentially, so bought some to be prepared. Sorry if too much info ! Best to attack this one proactively than suffer discomfort.

General energy levels still seem ok, I’ve had quite an active day and at about 6pm, my eyes feel a little sleepy, not quite enough for a nap. One bizarre thing though, in the past I have suffered year on year with bad tonsillitis that puts me in bed for a week. My tonsils have always been really big and I’ve always thought that has been a contributor. However, when I checked them earlier (through sheer paranoia) to make sure I’m not getting a sore throat or similar, randomly since the chemo they have shrunk considerably ! That would be a win in my book !

I’d got a snazzy ear thermometer from Amazon which has turned out to be rubbish, so I returned it and picked up a bobby basic one today which does the trick. Temperature checked regularly today, always around 36.7 to 37.1 so that’s good news. I’ve finished my steroids and anti-sickness tablets today, but I also decided to pick up some Vitamin C and Multivitamin tablets to try and help my body out while it will be struggling. No harm in trying, whatever your opinion of them is.

Dad came round for a brew and we had a good chat for an hour or so, he went through the decontamination process on the way in 🙂 My sister was due round too but my very young nephew has developed a cold so we knocked that on the head. I even managed to put up some new curtains for Jayne and fix the curtain pole, some housework too.

I’m still waiting for this slippery slide to come. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling like I’ve run a marathon after being quite active today. Maybe not and it’s still a few days away. My plan was to start back at work on Monday (from home), I’m lucky in that I can work from home so at this point I don’t see why that won’t be the case, although I’m under no pressure there. I need some mental stimulation, boredom had already kicked in today at points. I’ve had my head in work emails at points in the week, just to see what’s been going on.

But for now, I have the conundrum of how to enjoy my weekend without being too bored whilst being on “reduced duties.” It’s not a bad problem to have…