Tuesday 15th January 2019
“I would never win an award for not loving pizza” — Dwayne Johnson

So I made it into work today and did a reasonable amount of hours. Took it easy by going in a bit later than normal and working a standard length day, and by all accounts made it through unscathed. A pal of mine at work has sorted me out a basement parking space for a few weeks so it’s only about 100 steps from the car, up the lift to my desk. I owe him one for that. Although the commute, which I’m used to covering in 25mins on my bike was about 50mins each way. I don’t miss being a rush hour driver, but needs must.

I started off quite tired, although a coffee or two pepped me up. I’d had my 4 weetabix for breakfast, and took a bag full of sandwiches with me to keep up with this relentless appetite I have developed in the last few days. Through most of the day I plodded through some work at my desk, then finished the day hosting a meeting. I felt good. Had a laugh with a colleague about being totally out of breath having walked up 2 lots of stairs to go to a meeting room, and needing a minute to get my breath back. It still amuses me how it can happen !

By the time I got home, I felt a little drained but at no point have I felt as bad as I did yesterday. I thought it best to reward myself (and the boys) with some yummy food, for having managed the day well. Pizza & Burgers promptly arrived around 7pm, and we sat and filled our faces with some delicious dishes. I might have eaten a double cheeseburger and half (or more) of a 16′ pizza, such is this appetite I’ve developed. Since eating I’ve been perky, no feelings of needing to nap at any point really.

A couple of people looking out for me have quite rightly questioned my choice to go back into the office, and you wouldn’t be doing your job if you didn’t! As I’ve said before, whilst the obvious battle here is physical, you forget how much of it is mental too. The last thing I need is to be in the hospital on an antibiotic drip for a few days because I caught a bug, or potentially worse, I agree. But equally the last thing I need as a good friend eloquently puts it, is to be at home “wallowing in self pity” at the whole ordeal. I’ve struggled in the past with my mental health, but over the years I have become really quite resilient. I manage these things by taking them in my stride and simply getting on with things. I don’t do well at home, alone, with not a lot to do but be ill. I was the same in 2016 after breaking my collarbone, in early 2018 after suffering a spontaneous collapsed lung, and in October after my operation. You can’t keep me down, that’s me.

That means the plan for the rest of the week is to spend another sensibly timed day in the office tomorrow, back to working from home on Thursday before chemo day on Friday at The Christie. I’m still taking it day by day but it’s panning out well. Pizza of course, helps.