Thursday 10th January 2019
“There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort” — Jane Austen

Dave left the ward yesterday about 5pm, Matt left a few hours later, and John and I watched / listened to City thump Burton 9-0. Jayne arrived about 9.45pm, I had about 20 mins left with Bob pumping me full of fluids 🙂 Andy the nurse was bang on time when Bob beeped for the last time, he unhooked me and took the cannula out, then I was free to wrap up warm for the journey home after nearly 3 full days in my PJ’s.

Jayne’s arrival was great, I missed that smile and positivity she always seems to have to hand. Bags packed, we wished John well, and I said goodbye to the place for now. I’d hardly moved from my bed on Weds so I didn’t know what to expect, but it was an easy walk to the car and a simple drive home. I weighed myself before bed and I was about 3 to 4kg heavier than on Monday before treatment, and I honestly felt wobbly going up the stairs carrying so much fluid. Wobbly like jiggly, as opposed to unsteady on my feet.

I slept like a log ! Just the 2 night time toilet trips, all the easier without Bob. The kids woke me up at 7.30am for a hug which was lovely, although I could have slept a lot longer, it was worth it 🙂 Parker, who is terrible at keeping secrets, told me I needed to go downstairs because there was a “surprise.” It was a lovely care package, with a back massager, biscuits, sweets, superfood, carb bars, new slippers and comfy clothes etc. Very thoughtful Mrs E !

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So how do I feel ? Still pretty normal to be honest. I was very tired this morning because of the sleep I missed out on in hospital. I napped from about 11am to around 2pm, which sorted that right out. Twice during my nap there was a delivery driver knocking, so I flew downstairs without thinking to open the door each time and back up to bed. My heart rate was up more than it usually would be, with that sensation of hearing your heart beat in your ear for about 5 minutes, which I guess is a sign of things to come. Energy levels and appetite are still ok, although something tells me I wouldn’t cope with a gentle jog, not that I’ll be trying. I’ll tackle a short walk tomorrow.

After yet more toilet trips, my wedding ring is back to slipping neatly over my finger, the bloating is nearly gone. The only other thing at this point is taste. I made fish and chips for me and the boys for tea, and while ketchup is usually quite tasty and sharply flavoured, it tasted really watered down. Taste is one of the things that can change through the treatment and it seems to have started.

I have a few days worth of steroids and anti-nausea tablets to take, a mini-pharmacy to contend with, but not once have I felt sick. They are doing their job well.

We’re also ready for visitors. Firstly, Jayne will be medically screening people at the front door. If you are ill you will be turned away ! This is in preparation for my blood count and therefore immune system bottoming out over the coming days, a simple bug can be very dangerous and land me back in hospital. If you pass the entry procedure, then you’ll be de-bugged with the alcohol gel on offer as you enter. There’s also a thermometer in case I start feeling ropey, and some sweets in case the taste thing gets worse.

I’m still waiting for that “whoa, so that’s what chemo is all about” type moment, and I’m not going to complain if it takes it’s time to creep up, but I’ve no doubt it will. I just need to be ready for it, which I am.

I’ll end on a quick thank you for all of the support, messages, facebook / workplace comments, blog comments, WhatsApp messages, messenger chat’s and even video calls… etc so far. Part of this challenge will be a mental one, and so far I’ve still got all of my marbles intact. The support doesn’t go unnoticed and is hugely welcome. Lots of people say they’d like to help in some way. A quick chat every now and then, or a comment to read on one of these many platforms is a welcome boost. I’ll be sure to return the favour somehow in the future 🙂