Wednesday 9th January 2019
“I’m tired, but proud.” — Norman Rockwell

Last night I went with the tactic that worked somewhat on night 1. Stay up late, until the eyes want to close, then I’ll get a good sleep. Wrong ! I stayed up just past midnight, then put my screens away and tried to sleep, however at this point I’ve been pumped so full of fluid I feel like the Michelin Man and I still have a litre and a half of fluid to go in. My wedding ring which usually slips over my knuckle quite easily, won’t budge. Try as I might, it gets to 1.45am, time for the salts bottle to be put on for 4 hours, and I’m still awake. John is in a bit of pain tonight, he’s struggling and it’s a little worrying. I helped him out with some minor things, the least I could do. Multiple bathroom trips too of course !

So I fired up the laptop, watched the next instalment of the long-running USA drama, where Mr President talks awkwardly from a teleprompter, then the democrats blame him, then watched an equal mix of CNN and Fox (Hannity the fear monger!) to see what was being said. All seemed pointless. Tried to sleep again at 3am, still no joy. Talked with John til about 4am, and then finally dropped off. Up at 7.45 am, and I don’t dare post the selfie that I took, although that was just lack of sleep. But still no noticeable Chemo side effects. After filling a few more cardboard pee cups, I’m feeling less Michelin now.

The nurse said because my chemo was super late yesterday, they can’t start todays until about 5pm, which would see me ready to leave here about 10pm. Not ideal. Yesterday the Dr was cool with them starting the chemo earlier, despite the 5pm start on Monday (although it then turned up way late). Hopefully he’ll say the same today. My temp, blood pressure, heart rate etc has all been fine along and continues to be, so I hope so. Breakfast, showered and changed, awaiting the Dr’s rounds… Leek & Potato soup, then Roast Pork and veg, then Crumble and Custard to look forward to at lunch time, while my appetite remains.

1pm – I’m told they can bring it forward, but it’s now 9 hours, i.e. 4 hours of fluid, then 1 hour of etopiside (the only remaining chemo) then 4 more hours of fluid ?!?! Challenged this with the nurse and Dr, and at 2.30pm I still don’t have an answer and haven’t started anything. Tad annoying. Looking like it could be another overnighter…

4pm – Still no idea whats going on. Nothing started.

5.30pm – Well, back to the original plan. Starting now with 1 hour of Etoposide, then 4 hours of fluids. Jayne can come and pick me up, I should be out for about 10pm and sleeping in my own bed tonight !

So to recap, I had – Monday, 1 litre of Etoposide over an hour, 1 litre of Cisplatin over 2 hours, another 1 litre of Cisplatin over 2 hours, and 1 litre of salt/electrolyte water over 4 hours. 4 litres in total, plus 2 to 3 litres of water drunk. Tuesday – 500ml of Bleomycin over an hour, 1 litre of Etoposide over an hour, 1 litre of Cisplatin over 2 hours, another 1 litre of Cisplatin over 2 hours, and 1 litre of salt/electrolyte water over 4 hours. 4.5 litres in total, plus 2 to 3 litres of water drunk. Wednesday, 1 litre of Etoposide over an hour, 1 litre of salt/electrolyte water over 4 hours. Plus 2 litres of water. I make that about 17.5 litres over 3 days ! No wonder I was peeing so much.

Dave and Matt are well enough to go home today too, so John will be on his own. He is hoping to get moved to a posher ward tomorrow while he recovers, he’ll be here a while yet. I really hope he gets well soon and off home to his family.

I got a visit from my assigned nurse today, she’s called Cath and is with me on the whole journey. She’s not surprised that I still feel relatively well, but explains that over the next few days at home it will really start to hit me noticeably. I’m back to see the Dr next Friday morning, blood tests etc to see how my immune system is reacting. Then get a 30 min blast of Bleomycin early afternoon as an outpatient. Until then it will be interesting to see how it unfolds. You’d have thought the worst bit would be having it coursing through your veins, but I guess it lingers and takes its time to do it’s job.

3 odd hours to pass until home time, reluctant to snooze or I won’t sleep later. I just polished off another 3 course meal of soup, chicken casserole and chips, and lemon meringue pie. Very much looking forward to seeing Jayne, then the kids when I get home although they will be asleep (and therefore not fighting!) The next chapter awaits… Day 4 ! 3 days down, 60 to go…

Finally, taxi for Evans !