Monday 7th January 2019
“The beginning is the most important part of the work.” — Plato

Managed to avoid the traffic chaos of the first day back after Xmas & NY for most people, with Jayne playing GPS getting us here in efficient time ! Car park was empty, wandered in and got a brew while sat feeling a bit nervous & anxious for the first time. Today is the day I both did, and didn’t want to come.

9am – As always, the staff are really friendly from reception to the nurses. A lovely chap called Clive put my cannula in, and importantly it’s in on top of my forearm, not in my hand, so it’s in a great place where it will get in the way the least. Good given it will be in for 3 days.

10am – All done with the nurses and I’ve had a chat with the Dr’s, signed the all important consent form after hearing about the side effects. Serious lung damage and heart attack being the worst possibilities, tinnitus, numbness in my fingers etc the lesser ones. A calculated risk, given the other option is that my body destroys itself ! Anyhow, long wait and lunch, then off to the ward. Enjoyed chatting with Jayne, particularly when she reminded me we’ve been together just coming up to a century and a half (she meant decades.)

1.30pm – Finally onto the ward, such a weird place – 4 folks to a small room (bay), curtains open, folks snoozing. Straight away a joke about how I’m helping the chap next to me to lower the average age in the room ! Us “youngn’s” are in the minority.

4.30pm – Still literally nothing. Await first contact with Dr / Nurse about anything chemo related since getting on the ward. We’re both a bit bored and we’ve just heard some workmen have cut through the main electricity cable to our street so there’s no power at the house ! Our friend is there and was due to pick up the boys, dinner by candlelight it would seem !

5.30pm – Etoposide and some anti sickness tablets, my first drugs. Just over a litre via IV over about 70 mins, it gives you a real funny cold sensation going into your arm. Lovely pasta bolognese and Manchester tart (dessert!) for my evening meal. Around 7pm, I got my first bag of Cisplatin (Platinum basically, my value has just increased 😉 ) So far it’s ok, I’m about an hour into a 2 hour drip right now and I’m starting to feel ever so slightly woozy in the head, like getting drunk. I’m trying to drink lots of water as I’ve been advised, but…

Pee-ing in a cardboard bottle. This is required. They monitor fluids in. They also monitor fluids out. Hence pee-ing in a cardboard bottle and leaving it on the bathroom floor for the nurses to collect and measure. This will be my norm the next few days, and with the amount of fluid going in, it will be a very frequent occurrence. I also have to wheel Bob (the IV pump) around with me when I’m hooked up.

Some good company in my room, Matt who seems a similar age to me, John is a real funny character and is a lot older. Both have/had Leukaemia, John told me he was diagnosis is very serious but he’s still got a great sense of humour. That, together with seeing bays of older folks receiving similar treatment, looking frail and vulnerable, just reminds you this is serious stuff. I almost feel a tad guilty I’m faced with a survival chance of 95%+, but that’s probably because I still feel relatively normal right now. I’m sure when I wake up tomorrow in a different state, guilt won’t be on my mind any more. If indeed I get a decent nights sleep…